How to “SIKH” the truth in relationships
Its been a while since my last blog. Apologies. I was a little busy… coping with a relationship. And when I mean a relationship, I mean a constant battle with someone else. Now I’ve stopped being a romantic since my previous blog. I became a realist; well thats what I thought, instead it was a dark stair well to the utmost loneliness part of my heart … NOTHING.
It all began innocently, I had met a guy in the park on a sunny Summers day. We got to know each other. And as time went on we began to think about every single situation our relationship could plan out to be, however did not see what the Heavens had in store for us. The honeymoon period lasted around 2 weeks…. Yes 2 weeks!! And the power struggle arguments began until the bitter end.
I really do not understand why this even occurred. I mean, I really liked this guy. I lie, I loved this guy! He was everything I wanted in a man. Tall, cute, handsome, clever, sweet, kind and amazing at everything he did. The feeling when my eyes first glanced at this magnificent creature my heart melted and my insides turned into mush, not to mention it was hard to stand straight.
I was waiting for a man like this to turn up in my life and he did!! But why now, has it all gone. We argued like cat and dog, maybe it could of been from my insecurities, miscommunication as well as misinterpretations? Maybe I rushed and didn’t get to know him well enough? Maybe I was just infatuated with him and was clouded by lust and desire? Maybe it was all of this.
At night I would spend hours thinking about my situation with him, my situation in life. Where I want to be, what am I going to do in life. Is this right? Am I right? I would read the Guru Granth Sahib for hours on end, to find answers to solve all these questions, even pray till the early hours of the morning begging for an answer; for anything. All to receive nothing. Not even an ounce of help, but the inner silence of my soul.
Then it came to me as I laid awake in bed, I was chasing after “Maya”. For those who don’t know the meaning, the word origin of māyā is derived from the Sanskrit roots ma (“not”) and ya, generally translated as an indicative article meaning “that”. However in the Guru Granth Sahib māyā refers to the “grand illusion” of materialism. From this māyā all other evils are born, but by understanding the nature of māyā a person begins to approach spirituality. Now, I’m not the most religious or spiritual individual, so it was only after sometime I had realized I was specifically chasing “Maya”. At the exact moment in time I knew I was chasing something I desired yet was not satisfied with. I realized I was resenting the person that gave me this love; like love was a dealer, dealing me lust. I was addicted to the pain, the pleasure, the duality this relationship I had created for myself.Trying so desperately hard to make it real.
I wanted to know the core truth of this relationship. And I came to the conclusion, that to seek any answer. We need to know ourselves. We need to be able to connect to our soul and see the world for what it is and not what we make it out to be or want it to be. I had to see the amount of ego we both had and the manifestation of this ego had just accelerated when we collided. I was unhappy with all of this. And simply because I was unhappy with myself. I had lost the connection of the Universe, i lost the connection with myself and had just got so caught up in the thrill of this duality. My balance I once had was knocked to learn a lesson in love and life.
The lesson being, we ourselves are the creators and the destroyers of our world. I was now, harvesting the Karma I had sowed when I met him. Our mind will play tricks on us and let our emotions take control. Making us think that we are in love when it is just lust. Our mind is the biggest battle to conquer.
SIMPLY PUT: Man Jeetai Jagjeet – Conquer Your Mind & Conquer the World
Until next time,
Romance Is So Overated
I know, I know…. Flowers, Chocolates and romantic getaways they are all very nice and lovely. However romance is something that is read in books or watched in films. And this is coming from the biggest hopeless romantic you could ever meet.
I have dreamed of the day, when my knight in shining white “Pugh” (turban) turns up at my house and whisks me away to an exotic island to drink coconut milk. Reality is, he is not going to do any of that. The society I have been brought up in, stresses that a girl is simply not a woman or has any form of power/freedom until the day she is married. This view is slowly changing but there is much pressure on us young ladies to do the right thing and marry the “right” guy.
This burden of being a singleton 22 year old has been carried on my shoulders for a while now and I am simply tired of this notion that society expects me to fill. To make it worst there is a 101 point check list that this Prince needs to meet. And even by my extremely high standards this is asking a little too much from a man.
I have been in relationships and have met some incredible guys, although all have seemed to have broken my sweet innocent heart. So I go on to the topic, that all these men were so overtly romantic but why didn’t the relationship last?
And here’s the answer:
It came to my understanding that these men were creating a dream for themselves and for their self esteem. In reality, there came a time where they simply could not continue this illusion they created. It just not practical. However instead of simply trying to move things at a different pace or to try and resolve the situation. These men/BOYS just would prefer to end it, as there is too much work involved.
And it made me realise, that I don’t want a romantic man or a fake romance. I want true real lasting love. But that is boring. I have noticed a trend that everyone wants to be a socialite or famous or powerful and play games. None, of these people will keep a relationship unless they learn to love themselves first and realise a good relationship, takes time, effort and a lot of compromise.
With people becoming more fickle, greedy and too stubborn, long lasting relationships are a rare species. Everyone is seeking to be loved and find love; so how do we stop all this pain and heartbreak. Well one needs to learn that true love doesn’t come from an external source or person, or thing. True love, is loving yourself. Instead of searching the globe for a person to fill that gap of loneliness, search yourself and find what you are about and why you are here. And once you have, when a person comes into your life you will just know that this is the right thing and that they will bring more to the relationship rather than fill holes in your heart.
True love is not shown by the amount of materialistic things they buy, but the thought they have put into doing the simplest things to make you feel their love.
So to the my future man out there, R.I.S.O and I just want you to know I will be happy as you are.
Till next time